On Nicety

I’ve always taken for granted that people I know are nice by nature. Call me spoilt and naive, I know. Undoubtedly, that’s because I have a wondrful family. My aunties and uncles from both maternal and paternal sides spoil us three kids to no extreme, and have lended more than a helping hand when it comes to financing our education.

But more than that, I’m used to them treating my friends with the same amount of kindness as well, so I’ve always took it that everyone’s relatives are like mine.

So, rewind to last week, during a chat with my cousin while she’s cooking. Those who are close to me will know that my aunt passed away very suddenly just 2 months ago. This cousin, who’s an australian PR by the way, is the deceased aunt’s daughter. She took it real hard, which I would too, if it has been my own mother.

What perturbed me was how she denounced religions after that. I mean, yeah, the multitude of a mum’s death is unimaginable, but what good would it do to proclaim that ” I HATE GOD”?!

You know how some people like to stew in their negative emotions. There’s only so much you can be angy with the world for, but what next? Why not seek a solution to make yourself feel better, instead of pointing fingers and complaining about the injustice of the universal system? Would that change things?

On the other hand, perhaps she’s showing her real self to me, a side that’s only shown to her family. But what’s with the hypocrisy dude? Coming to me telling me that you are happy to have me in your house, only to launch into a three hours speech about how things would change to the worse if we are living together. Come on, all I said was I’m pissed at my so called friends for leaving me alone in the house, I’m not trying to seek refuge in your house!

What irritated me further was her response when I began to told her of my situation.

“Well, the world is like that. It’s never fair. Live with it”

“So? So what can you do? too bad! it’s too bad LOR!”

 ”Learnt from your lesson then! Don’t be too nice to everyone! kindness begets kindness? my foot! Look at my mother! she’s nice and what happened? she died!”

WTF. oh man, you’re 40 years old, you should know better to say proper words of comfort. I mean, a simple: “oh man… shit happens hey?” will do. Why launch into a tirade of self-righteous, caustic remarks?

I know. As her cousin, I should be there for her, blablabla, yadayadayada, bring her out of her unhappiness. But I’ve always believed that noone, even God can do anything if you refuse to help even yourself. I’m sorry your mum died, I can feel your pain, she’s close to me as well, but really, would your mum want to see you change into the Wicked Witch of the East because of her passing on?

Miss Angry-with-God- I – Hate-You-God-I-Am-The-Best-Person-In-The-World, wake up. You’ve got a wonderful husband, two adorable kids. Smell the roses sans colere, please.